..... the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a monkee (or a pigeon), the stockings were hastily found again from whence they'd been thrown last year, and hung by the electric fire, in hopes that Sant E Claus soon would be here ....





I did think about re-writing the whole Clement Clarke Moore poem "Twas the Night before Christmas", but as it's 14 verses long and I still have Christmas knitting deadlines to finish BY TOMORROW (!) I'd better give it a miss.

Instead, I'll just wish anyone who happens by my blog over the festive season a very Happy Christmas and New Year, and apologise for being such a bah-humbug of a blogger recently both on my own and other peoples.  Did I mention knitting deadlines??

But I haven't come to this blog post empty handed, I have a little something for you ..... although you may want to open this in a new window before you click here.

Merry Christmas one and all, may Santa fill your stockings to the brim tonight and may you eat, drink and be merry until you're reaching for the Pepto Bismol tomorrow.  See you next year.

I'm so excited!!  No - not because of that one day near the end of this month that has us all running round like headless chickens on the day before .... well .... some of us ....


I'm very excited about this .....




Sackboy!


The latest computer game from Sony called Little Big Planet, whose hero is KNITTED!!  Ok, so he's called Sackboy, when surely Knitboy would have been more accurate, but who cares?!  He's KNITTED!!


Finally, the world is cottoning on to just how cool knit is!  At this rate they'll be forced to take that offensive Shreddies advert off the telly (you know the one where there's a factory full of grannies knitting breakfast cereals.  So stereotypical ..... I don't know any Grannies who like Shreddies ....)


Anyway.  Sackboy's mates are sewn ....



.... and they have zips and everything!


The blurb for this game says that you stitch together new and wacky landscapes to create the perfect environment for Sackboy to live in .... isn't that what knitters and stitchists do in real life?  This could be the perfect game for crafters.  If only they could bear to put down their needles and pick up a game controller instead.






Then my excitement reached full crescendo in Tesco (it's amazing what gets you going after you turn 40) when I spotted the latest Simply Knitting magazine (see?) ....







.... complete with a pattern to ....




.... Hurrah!  Someone pass me my needles .....

**Warning**  This post may not be suitable for small children.  Unless you're happy for them to learn about the circle of life.  In a slightly less cuddly way than the Lion King portrayed it.



I was sat at my desk daydreaming recently - sorry - I mean working really really hard - when suddenly I was woken from my work-induced trance as my heart leapt out of my chest due to a heavy missile hitting the window at full pelt.



Close examination of the window pane led me to believe that the missile that had hit at full velocity was a pigeon.



How did I come to this conclusion?



Easy.  The pigeon had left a pigeon-shaped mark on my window ....




Exhibit A.





I showed Greg ....




Is that a pigeon-shaped mark?  .... is that .... *gulp* .... Cyril??






He wondered why ....




Why are you showing me?




I explained that there was a reason that the pigeon had hit my window.  And it wasn't just that it wasn't looking where it was going.




Oh no.




It was because it was furiously fleeing this feathered fellow ....




Exhibit B.


Kestrel?  Buzzard? Falcon?  Hawk?  Eagle?  .... can you tell I'm not a country girl??





Sadly it didn't make it.




It made lunch instead.  Rest in peace(s), Cyril.





Greg didn't want to look ....





*tremble*






.... but I made him .... it was for his own good, honest ....



I feel a bit quesy.  I think I need a lie down.





Watch out, Greg, it's a bird eat bird world out there ....





After all that unpleasantness, I showed him a picture of some pretty flowers to calm his nerves ....



Deep healing breaths.  Deep healing breaths.






.... that's better ....



I think I may just hang around the house for a few days.  Or weeks.  Possibly months.  In fact I may never go out again.  Oh, and I'll skip lunch thanks.







In other calming picture news, here's a snap of some gorgeous yarn I purchased recently....







.... when I succumbed briefly to a sock knitting desire.




But in true "me" style ....




.... I got bored after knitting the first one ....



Pairs.  They're over-rated.

Well maybe not, but I had a fabulous fortieth anyway.  Thank you for all the birthday greetings and reassurances that 40 isn't really that bad.  I think I'll reserve judgement on that for now though.

Simon and I (and a certain knitted monkee) had a brilliant time in Dublin, and it was all going swimmingly until said certain monkee got himself banged up .....




.... oh, the shame!


.... but 007 Does Dublin will have to wait as this mammoth post is all about thanking some of the beautiful people that live inside my computer.


Firstly Lauren, my transatlantic blogging buddy who not only made me the most delicious card that I've ever seen, but also sent me a matching lip balm, some monkey goodies and chocolate too ....



.... thank you, Lauren, your skills with a hot-glue gun amaze me!




Thanks also to a closer-to-home blogging chum, Vicious (I hope she won't mind me shortening her name), who was kind enough to knit me this fabulous scarf ....



.... which is so soft and fine and in gorgeous autumnal shades.  The cupcake surprise which that googly eyed monkey has his eyes on and the chocolates have been hidden from teenage eyes for my own private consumption ....



Belated thanks to Sussex Yorkie who sent me a package crammed full with goodies.  I'm a bit embarrassed about this really, as she's been such a brilliant customer at my monkee shop that I should be sending her gifts .....



.... who'd have thought it .... primate flavoured chocolate ....




And then a couple of fellow bloggers helped me out with my monkey house conundrum.  Kitty suggested that Mr Martin LaFelt would fit the bill and I thought that was an excellent idea.  Sadly though, it was not to be ....





As you can see, even this felty fellow was too big for the humble abode.


Although he tried hard to get in ....





.... but those ears were never going to let him.




Then, just as I'd given up hope of ever finding a monkey small enough to live in Monkey Towers, that goddess among stitchers, Tintock Tap came to my rescue and sent me this pretty crocheted pouch ....








.... which contained not one, but TWO tiny monkeys ....



.... Minnie and Maisie!





007 was amazed and agog that monkeys so tiny could ever be created ....








No wait - that was me.  007 was just concerned that he was going to inhale Minnie by mistake ....








Here you can see the monkeys settled into their new habitat .....




.... and they fit perfectly ..... thank you Lesley, did I mention what a stitching goddess you are??




Finally, a collage of some of my birthday goodies ....



.... including an intriguing package from my colleague, which turned out to be a fabulous monkey puppet (the one on the right .... no! left, in the stripey jumper), brilliant artwork from the girls (Sophie used some of my yarn for the hair .... it makes your heart swell), an amazing basket of gifts from my Sister and some sexy undies from my Sister-in-Law, proving that underwear for the over 40's doesn't have to be of the carrier bag variety.

..... I'd best go and clear our my undies drawer then ..... ahem .....

If life is a roller coaster then I'm strapping myself in and holding on tight ....






.... cos it's all down-hill from here ....





Today ....


Simon is whisking me away and I shall be drowning my sorrows in this.





Unfortunately I'm not that keen on the stuff.  





Fortunately I know someone who isn't as fussy ....









See you on the other side.  I'll be the one who's older and wiser. 




Ok .... just older ....

Muffins.  Eat less muffins ....










Ok .... I could stand to lose a few pounds ....











Ooh .... now that's harsh ....










Good point .... scrub all of the above ....









.... my new mantra ....





Rubbish Words


I've been shocked and dismayed recently by the spam that's been landing in my email inbox ..... from me ....

I have no idea how the spammers have done this or - more worringly - how to stop it, so sincere apologies to anyone in my address book if they've also been receiving rubbish from my address.

Please rest assured that I never send spam, joke or chain emails .... in fact I hardly ever send mail at all (I'm a terrible communicator, as my family would testify), so whoever is responsible for them, it isn't me, and if anyone knows how to deal with this problem I'd be grateful for any advice.





Winning Words


If a prize was being handed out for the most appropriate word verification code, then I think I'd win it.

I was over at Jodie's at the weekend commenting on the lovely pictures of her cute kitten, Jude, when suddenly I felt the urge to run out to the kitchen, grab my camera and immortalise this forever, as I knew no one would believe me ....





.... beat that .... if you can!

Ever since someone reminded me about Flat Eric last year (sorry, I can't remember who it was) I've wanted to make a flat monkee.



Early attempts were laughable ....


..... bah ha ha ha ha .....







..... ho ho ho ho ho .....





But at least they were flat ....


.... kinda ....






So I had a re-think and went back to the drawing board ....








.... and eventually settled on this one ....








.... after I'd rejected this one that Simon hastily designed ....


.... and to think he used to be a draughtsman ....





Then, after some cutting, pinning, sewing and cussing, this freak was created ....


(I lied about the pinning .... I never pin) (maybe that's where I'm going wrong) (I didn't lie about the cussing though ....)





The likeness is uncanny, don't you think?


.... actually, don't answer that ....





Worryingly, Simon has taken a shine to the flat freak and on the nights he goes to bed before me (quite often during the week as he gets up at 5:08 - precisely - to cycle to work) (the madman) I'm accosted by this when I turn in ....


.... alarming ....





But not as alarming is this shot ....








See what I mean?  Let's look at that again ....


.... to think I have a sewing machine set up permanently upstairs and I've done THIS to my curtains!  I'm embarrassed.  Not embarrassed enough to hem them, obviously, but embarrassed none the less.



Last night though, was the the final straw.   After an evening of scary movies and opening the door to horrible little monsters demanding sweets and treats, I finally fumbled my way round to my side of the bed and found this ....


Arrrghhhhh!!  No - not the monkee mask ..... that hem!!





Still, I got my own back.   Simply by using the flash on my camera ....


mwah ha ha ha ha ......



Last Halloween we had some monkee fun with a pumpkin .... well ..... I say "we", but 007 didn't enjoy it that much.  If you haven't seen it before or would like to see it again, click here.  In the meantime, I'm going back to the drawing board (again) to work on that flat monkee ....

I thought I ought to make more use of these ....











So I baked another batch of carrot cake muffins ......













They were delicious ....







.... yum ....






Then I decided to knit some too ....







.... ditto ....




One batch didn't hang around for long.




Can you guess which ones?




Clue :  It wasn't these ....









Cupcake recipe from : The Asda Magazine

Cupcake pattern from : CakesKnitsandCosies



* I realise twelve isn't a Baker's Dozen.  But as I'm not a baker I thought I may be able to get away with it.

.... Well that was awkward .... I thought your shop was called Monkees for U .... not Monkees for Everyone ....




**  Narcissism by proxy.  Is that allowed?

Just a (very long winded) self-indulgent trip down memory lane.  Sorry.  Feel free to pop back another day.


But first, an ode to 14th October 1988 ....


Today was not

Today was not very warm
not very cold
not very dry
not very wet

No one round here
went to the moon
or launched a ship
or danced in the street

No one won a big race
or a big fight
The crowds weren't out
the bands didn't play

There were no flags, no songs
no fireworks, no drums
I didn't see a procession,
with a big white horse

Everyone thought today was ordinary,
busy busy in out in
hum drummer day
dinner hurry
grind away day

Nobody knows that today
is the most special day
that has ever ever been


(Author unknown)



Twenty years ago today (tonight) Simon and I finally got together.  I say 'finally' because I'd spent a couple of months stalking him round my home town of Newton Abbot.


I say 'stalking' because at the time I was living and working at Whatley Manor in Malmesbury, so on my days off I'd hurtle down the motorway and spend my precious time off scouring the streets for him.

.... it was hell ....



I first saw Simon in WH Smiths scanning the top-shelf magazines - that's where they kept the bike mags then - and I was smitten.  Another time I was driving through town and he was crossing in front of me.  He smiled ..... I realise I probably looked quite funny with my nose squished against the windscreen and my tongue hanging out .....  but by the time I'd looped round the block he had gone.  ..... running, probably .....







For the fist nine months of our relationship we lived 120 miles apart .... these are his letters to me









I quite often saw him in the towns pubs with his mates and occasionally our eyes would meet, but neither of us made a move.  I took it as a good sign that he didn't ditch his pint and bolt out the back door whenever he saw me. 

I even carried my last rolo around in my bag for ages, in the hope that I'd be able to offer it to him .... good job I didn't, bearing in mind his allergy to chocolate ..... plus it got quite dusty and hairy in there .....

.... and these are my letters to him.  All safely tucked away again in the deepest recesses of our attic .... away from prying teenage eyes ....








Eventually, fed up with my bad mood each time it was time for me to go back to work, my Mum threatened to march me right up to him and introduce me.  It was then that I realised drastic action needed to be taken.


The next time I was home, I finally seized my chance.  I cornered him in a corner (funnily enough) at The Jolly Farmer.  There was no escape.  He was with his mate and I was with my friend.  I took a slug of orange juice (I hadn't yet discovered the delights of fermented grape juice), and walked over to him, knees trembling, heart thumping, and thinking "Oh well, if he says no I'll just never come home again.  Ever."

.... twenty years has taken it's toll on this love heart  letter Simon made me .... but he can still remember how sick he felt, eating all the spares.

But he didn't say no.  I asked him if he and his mate would like to come to another pub with me and my friend, and he said yes.  Result!!



The rest, as they say, is history.



.... our history .... in collage form, of course! ....







We're off out on our own tonight to celebrate twenty fantastic years that have really  flown by.  I'm not sure where we're going yet, but I know it won't be to this pub we walked past at the weekend ....




.... we didn't do that ....

  
Actually .... I lied about the no monkee content ....


This little lot will be going into my new shop tomorrow night (Wednesday) at 9.00 pm (UK time) ....

 

.... if you want to lay your hands on some monkee stuff please drop by tomorrow night and go to the monkees for u page.

To anyone who has had an email from me, please ignore this bit.  Anyone who hasn't and would like to buy either a half-pint monkee, a pocket monkee, a monkee pin-cushion or a zipped monkee pouch, please read the following :-

• My shop is currently hidden; please re-fresh your screen at 9.00 pm tomorrow night and select the monkees for u page
• Please click on the "options" button before clicking "add to basket" and select the relevant postage (UK first class or recorded / European standard or recorded / Non European standard / recorded)
• There's a clock on the monkees for u page if you want to work out time differences
• I'm very nervous about how this new shop will work out.  Please bear with me if it all goes horribly horribly wrong .....
  
  
  

We thought we'd take young Marty out and show him the sights of Bristol.  First of all there was the obligatory visit to Coffee #1 ....







Where Marty was amazed and agog at the size of the raspberry and white choc chip muffins ....



.... obviously much too big for couple of tiny knitted monkeys, but just the right size for me!




Then we had a wander around Clifton Village, the 'posh end' of Bristol.  There are some beautiful houses in Clifton and Sophie decided she'd quite like us to move there.  Yeah right, when I've won the lottery.  No wait, after I've started doing the lottery, then when I've won it ....








.... although I do think we'd fit in just fine, don't you? ....






While we were there, we stopped for a little drinkie on the terrace at the Avon Gorge Hotel, which has wonderful views of the Avon Gorge (the clue's in the name) and the Clifton Suspension Bridge.



Laura did a sterling job on the crowded terrace of serreptitiously posing with a couple of monkeys on her shoulder ....





.... and a crocheted pigeon ....



.... but I'm sure no one noticed.  Well .... hardly anyone. ..... Ok, so a few people pointed and laughed, but I'm sure she won't be affected by it in the long term ....



Greg tried to lure Marty to the dark side ....






But Marty's obviously a clean living fellow and insisted he was fine with Pepsi ....



(clearly there's a couple of smooth edges to knock off still)




Sophie's talk of moving did get me thinking though.  And when I saw a des-res that was within my price bracket, I just couldn't help myself.  I jumped right in and signed on the dotted line ....










I thought it would make nice pied-a-terre for Marty, but sadly ....



.... it's not quite big enough.




007 fancied his chances of having a place of his own ....



.... and got his arm stuck in the process .... (actually, it got stuck in the door - boom boom!)   (With thanks to Basil Brush  for the early education in bad puns)




Next we tried a Pocket Monkee for size ....



.... Nope.  Fine for pockets, but too big for this.




Greg thought it would make an excellent pigeon loft ....



.... if he could ever get inside.




So finally, I picked up some skinny yarn and skinny needles and whipped up a teeny tiny Pocket Monkee ....




.... and even he's too big!  I'm conceding defeat now, as I don't think I can knit any smaller than that!




So they'll all have to share it ....



.... time-share anyone?  Can be moved to Clifton if desired ....

I painted one wall of our bedroom recently.  A feature wall, if you like.



First of all I applied a couple of coats of this colour ....




Cocoa - or Dirty Protest Brown as it became known as I was slapping it on.





Then I added a little of this ....



Soft Sand .... that's cream to you and me.





Next, I splashed on a liberal dose of this ....



(Red - not orange as it looks here.)






Finally, I added these colours ....



Monkee colours!





The result .... one "feature" wall ....




Smashing.  There's just one thing that worries me about having a monkee on the wall .... although Simon says he likes it (for a quiet life probably), I'm just a bit concerned that it won't be long before this happens again (not the monkee drownings - the last bit!)

No. 4

When your other set of friends invite you out for an evening of fine dining, champagne and wine - and no one has to pay for anything!*  


And they didn't even mind ....







.... too much ....




.... when I lowered the tone ....






Thank you Lol and Mike, we had a fantastic evening .... when it's our turn to entertain we'll meet you at McDonalds, ok??




* We did a runner at the end ....**





**We didn't really .... our friend won a sublime meal for four at this restaurant - and amazingly chose us to take!




No. 5


When you follow a link on someone else's blog - in this case Sussex Yorkies - and it inadvertently kicks off a whole new obsession.  Now that most of us are saying "No thanks" to carrier bags, I have three little words for you ....


TEA TOWEL TOTES!


I may be late in joining the TTT party, and for all I know everyone has already ransacked their kitchen drawers and cupboards and transformed their tea towels into totes, but for anyone who hasn't .... do it!  Do it now!!


They're so quick and easy, and after you've made one or two ....






.... it won't be long before you'll make three or four ....






.... and, despite starting out life as a couple of humble tea towels, they hold LOADS!  Behold ....





.... 3 boxed pizzas .... a bottle of wine .... a paperback novel .... two mugs .... a box of Mingles .... 3 bars of chocolate .... and a pack of 5 tea towels .... ahem - did I mention "obsession"? .... and an Asda magazine.


.... and I'm sure they could even carry loads of healthy stuff  if they had to ....



Reasons NOT to be chuffed .... No. 1



When you send the link to your sister and she makes a better one ....!




.... for her WiP's





I couldn't stay not chuffed for long though, as she very kindly sent me a kit for one like hers ....


(complete with emergency chocolate supplies - hurrah!)




So naturally, I had to make one .... or two .... or three more ....

    
(the two heart ones are with made with John Lewis tea towels.  Only the best for the intended recipient)




No. 6


Is this ....




(click on the picture)



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Many thanks to those who left birthday greetings for Sophie on my last post.  Unfortunately she had a horrible time as she spent most of her birthday like this .... (oh, the irony of that banner ....)


(that's wrapped in a duvet, by the way, not sitting outside)


These pictures show her getting some fresh air in the hope that she'd feel better and her planned weekend sleepover wouldn't have to be postponed.  She didn't and it was.


Her verdict?  Sweet sixteen sucks.



(She's better now, after three days off school and a hefty dose of anti-biotics and steroid tablets)

No. 1


My new mug ....



.... which speaks for itself really ....




No. 2

Baking* something that didn't end up looking like this ....



I know! 




After perusing this in-store magazine ....








.... well, just looking at the front really, and then searching through two Asda's to find the necessary ingredients ....



(you've just got to have the right ingredients!)






I amazed myself and my family by cooking something that looks - and tastes - edible!



.... and they're healthy - they've got carrots in!!




* I realise that this somewhat contravenes Reason No. 1 above, but I'm sure I won't make a habit of it.




No. 3


Sixteen years ago today Sophie was born ....











She's always been beautiful ....

   






.... and sweet natured ....








.... and very loving, caring and tactile ....








.... and she's still all of those things.  Just much much bigger ....




.... and everso slightly more s-t-r-o-p-p-y sometimes.  But I guess them's the breaks when you're ....

SWEET SIXTEEN!


Happy Birthday, Sophie, we love you loads
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x



.... more reasons to be chuffed next time ....

.... or it could be, if you believe the hype about this , so I thought I'd better quickly post this.  Just in case.


Do you remember those balmy, heady days of summer? 


Those three days in early June, when the sun shone and we all thought we were in for a glorious summer?


We rushed out and bought the girls flowery tents, thinking of all those nights they'd be able to camp out ....


(make that one night)




.... and I bought a matching chair for some alfresco knitting ....


(make that one afternoon)



It was during this all-too-brief sunny spell, and during my blogging break that I had an email from Louise, telling me about her website.  When I followed her link and had a peek, I was intrigued.



As was 007 ....






In fact that's probably an understatement.



He was amazed and agog ....







Spellbound even ....







And slighty embarrassed when I caught him ogling ....


.... ahem.  I didn't realise you were there ....




.... this knitted beauty ....



Ms. Monkeepenny




007 thought we needed a Monkeepenny ....


.... I think we need one of those ....




But then he started taking it too far ....



.... let me just email her my details ....



So I had to slap him down.



But he's a persistant little blighter ....


.... I want that one ....




So in the end, back in the garden ....







I cast on a Pinkpenee ....






Sadly for 007, Pinkpenee hasn't yet been finished and is still eyeless and earless.  Well .... do I really want the hassle of another monkee kicking around the place?  007 is enough of a handful as it is.  And can you imagine the consequences if that pair got together?

*Shudder*.  I'd rather not.




007 is not happy.



But please don't feel too sorry for him.  After the events of last week , I don't think he deserves a monkee mate.

We've been off again this week, and we spent a couple of days in Devon catching up with our family.  While we were at my parents, my brother-in-law took some lovely family shots, and one of them really captures my true personality.





Hmm .... notice how my sister has skilfully edited this shot to make sure her glass isn't showing ....


But don't let that picture give you completely the wrong impression.  My Mum, my Sis and I shared two bottles between us, which isn't really that bad.  Is it?


Anyway, we needed to get Mum tipsy or she'd never have agreed to do this ....







Or this ....






Or this ....






007, on the other hand, needed no alcolhol to pose for this ....



Monkee or Moose?  You decide.



The following family shot, a copy of which I nabbed while we were there, is as far removed from the above pictures as you can possibly get.  I think this is about 1971 ....



My Dad, doing his best Clint Eastwood impression, my Mum, looking all Jackie O, and the rest of us in our Sunday best, although I think I may have had concerns about those hem-lines Mum had sewn for us ....



Naturally Greg came on our trip too, and he and I had a leisurely browse through ....



.... in Bovey Tracey , and a nice cup of tea at The House of Marbles , before we all came home to Bristol, bringing this handsome chap with us ....




.... a gnome from my Sister's steadily expanding gnome army.  Her favourite too - thanks Sis!



But sadly our summer holidays are well and truly over.  It's raining today and it's back to work tomorrow.  The girls go back to school later this week (Sophie on Friday .... really, is there any point?!) so it's all doom and gloom around here now.

Or is it?


Maybe not quite ....




007's 15 minutes of fame




There's been no living with 007 (or me) since we were featured on the Simply Knitting  website recently.  007 is demanding royalties for every photo of him taken and I've been swanning around saying things like "Don't you know who I am??!" to anyone who will listen.  Sadly, no one is.  I already had a generously sized head and my new H&M hat is never going to fit now ....

Luckily, I know someone who looks rather gorgeous in it ....



.... make that 'who looks rather Geeky in it ....'


Many thanks to the lovely people at Simply Knitting for the kind words, and Thank you, Emma Lamb for tooting our horn for us.  I would say I'm blushing as I type, but sadly that's just my ruddy complexion.  Must be all that wine ....

.... the time of year we when don our best gear and have a family portrait taken.   This year, we thought we'd go for a smart-casual look.   And we thought we'd really push the boat out, and hire some stylists.   Just to make it extra special.


Here's Simon and I and our little monkey, 007 ....




What's that you say?   It doesn't look like us?   Well, admittedly, they did a smashing job - especially with 007, but I can assure you, it is me, the man, and the monkee.



Look, I managed to duck back and take my own picture of Simon and 007 ....




Told you.



And they did a   fantastic job with the girls.   They took years off them!




Sophie (right) and Laura.



Amazing!   In fact, I think it's fair to say that I feel like a totally different woman.  



But as you can tell from the next shot ....




.... it's definitely me (even if I do prefer a nice glass of white ....)




For our final shot of the day, I begged Simon not to wear my scarf, but would he listen?



No.  He wouldn't.


(The eagle eyed amongst you may think that Simon looks like a different man in the two pictures, but as my mum used to say .... a change is as good as a rest ....)



*Sigh*



I guess I can't keep up this charade any longer.



It's that time of year again.  



The time of year when this appears in your sunday paper ....







And I have a brief yearning to be one of those gorgeous Boden girls.




.... that would be me ....



.... not ....



.... it never really lasts long, luckily for our bank balance.



And to be honest, if I didn't hate knitting garments so much, and I could force myself to buy something other than acrylic, I could make a much cheaper version of this £69 (offer price £58.65) moss stitch cardi ....



....   possibly ....




And for some reason, when I look at the tank top below (£39 - offer price £33.15) ....






I can't help but think of this chap .


So once again, that mini Boden catalogue has gone in the recycling bin and tomorrow morning I'm off to Peacocks   to see if they've got any tank tops in stock.


* * * * * * * * * * * *


There are still a few days left to enter my giveaway .   Please remember to mention GIVEAWAY if you get in touch; I don't want to foist  my monkee stuff on someone who doesn't want it, so only people who mention the "G" word will be entered.    The draw will take place on 1st September.


And I thought I'd add a couple of pocket monkee prototypes too ....



(don't worry - not this pair of googly eyed misfits)



.... this pair ....



.... one that looks like he's been pumping weights, and one who looks a little too mousey for my liking.
(I'm really selling them to you, aren't I?!)

So, we're back from our flying visit to Italy, where we had a fantastic time.  Three of us got burnt, despite slapping on Factor 30 every day (who knew that armpits could burn?!), and you'll be pleased to hear that I only took 473 photos.

Settle down .... you could be here for a while ....

I'm just playing with you - I'll only bore you with a few.  Or possibly 21 ....


The view from the plane was stunning ....





As was the one from our hotel balcony ....






.... which was a stones throw from Lake Garda ....







The sunsets over the lake were so romantic ....






.... and the sunrises equally breathtaking ....







.... the towns and villages so picturesque ....


Malcesine




We braved dizzying heights when we scaled Mount Baldo ....



.... in a cable car, natch ....




.... and found an amazing photo opportunity around every corner ....






We ambled around in 32 degree heat, with me vowing to never moan about British summers again (a vow that lasted until I got off the plane at Bristol Airport ....)


Sirmione








We had a leisurely wander around Verona ....






.... and visited the Coliseum ....






But I must confess that for a lot of the time, the pool at the hotel was so alluring ....



.... that we spent a lot of time just chilling - or trying to - there.




It was the highlight of Laura's holiday ....






.... and I spent quite a lot of time there too ....



.... well, what else could I do?  My needles had been confiscated at the airport* and anyway, I think it would have been way too hot to work with acrylic ....



While the best bit for Sophie was being able to wander round the family friendly Peschiera del Garda late at night, admiring (and being admired by) the oh-so-frisky Italianos ....








And of course, for me no holiday would be complete without a little bit of this ....





.... and one ....





.... or two ....



.... of these!


For anyone after some fun in the sun, I'd recommend Lake Garda in an instant.  For anyone travelling with Ryan Air I'd just offer one warning .... be wary of the on-line check-in facility.  We couldn't access it for the return leg of our holiday, and after copious attempts to contact their call-centre from Italy (with my sister trying here in the UK, also unsuccessfully, at £1 per minute) our hotel phone bill was 81 euros!  Ouch!!

If you're wondering where the monkee content of this post is, the adventures of Pocket Monkee in Italy, click here .


* they weren't really confiscated .... I'd already checked and it appears that even my seven inch long bendy plastic needles may have be seen as weapons of mass destruction, so they, along with 007 and Greg stayed at home.

.... to everyone who welcomed me back to the blogging fray this week.  There are a few things about my new home that I'm not happy with .... commenters not being able to link back to their blog and there being no facility to manage the comments, being two niggles.  But I'm going to stick with it for now .... it did cost me thirty five whole british pounds, after all!



A massive THANK YOU to Kitschy and Stine too (another niggle .... I can't get the links to work ... grrr ... Kitschy's blog is http://kitsch-n-zinc.blogspot.com/ and Stines is http://froglegsnvaseline.blogspot.com/ ). 


Shortly after I started my sabbatical I received this from Kitschy ....






.... a lovely package to thank me for her winning HP38 in my draw.  I know - bizzarre!  But who am I to quibble when said package contains such gorgeous goodies as these ....





.... unbelievably soft yarn that's just crying out to be fondled, a beautiful felt brooch, and some fab monkey stickers!



Not only but also ....





.... monkeys on springs .... genius!




And shortly before I returned to the land of blog, Stine sent me a little something she'd been working on.  A little something which is much too lovely to use - despite the fact that she instructed I should.  Sorry, Stine, but I just can't blow my conk on this ....





.... monk-tastic hanky!



But wait!  Not only does this beautifully embroidered hanky have THREE monkees in various shades, but it also has ....



.... you're gonna like this ....



.... no, really, you are ....



.... you won't be expecting this AT ALL ....



.... hmmm, I don't know though, maybe you will ....





.... a pigeon!!  How pimped is my hanky??  (Quite pimped, I think you'll find)


Thanks Kitschy and Stine, for such brilliant gifts that have made me smile.  A lot.


And talking of pigeons, a few people have asked how my (non-)feathered (non-)flying friend is.  Greg's fine thanks.



Rest assured that whatever the monkee does ....












.... the pigeon does too.



And wherever the monkee goes ....















.... the pigeon goes too.




Apart from here ....





.... cos that would just be wrong ....


To finish off this horrendously long post (the eagle eyed among you may have noticed I've not been as "active" on the blogging front as I once was.  I promised a certain someone gorgeous that I wouldn't become as obsessed and addicted this time round, and my laptop would no longer come between us.  It's going well so far.  I've managed to control the shaking and eye twitch quite well ....) I'll leave you with a conundrum that I was faced with recently ....


What do you do if your husband books last minute flights to Italy (hurrah!) but decrees that only hand luggage will be taken (you can imagine how well that went down with two teenage girls ....), but you really really REALLY want to take a monkee with you?




Why, you build a pocket monkee of course! ....





See you when we get back!

Who knew that time would fly so quickly when you aren't doing very much at all really?  Thanks so much to everyone who left a comment (or two!) on my last post, and for anyone who has missed 007 and the gang, sorry I was away for so long.


During my blogging break I saw this ....



.... in Borders, and couldn't resist the idea of my very own co.uk address, hence this here new website thingy.  I don't know how it'll work out, but I'd be greatful for any feedback you'd care to hurl in my general direction.



I also found time to do some crochet ....



.... the good ....



.... from this book ....







.... the mad ....






.... from this book ....







.... and the fugly ....



.... part pattern, part fevered imagination.  Don't have nightmares.




I also knitted up these 007 wannabe's ....



.... which will be appearing in my new monkee shop soon.  Just as soon as I can figure out how to work said monkee shop ....



My family are enjoying the summer too.   Simon spent a very productive day making a rather bizarre looking pizza oven for the garden using a recycled oil drum ....








Yeah, sure, it looks like Thomas the Tank Engine, but it bakes delicious pizzas!






And the girls were chuffed and slightly amazed the other day, when we let them get the train to Weston-Super-Mare, with a couple of mates, to go to T4 on the beach ....























.... rather them than me ....





Sophie's black hair and those oh-so-attractive lip adornments are just a phase.  Hopefully.  And not real.  Well, the hair is, natch.  Well .... not all the hair.  Anyway, like I said, just a phase .... that will hopefully be over any moment now ....


By the way, they assure me they weren't responsible for this ....









But what, I hear you cry, about the great monkee himself.  What has 007 been up to?



Not much.



There's no news about 007 really.




Nothing out of the ordinary anyway.



Ok, so he joined the local Hells Angels Chapter the other week ....




.... but like I said .... nothing noteworthy ....